The last stress free vacation we will ever take

We went to Cannon beach for three days this weekend and stayed at a hotel on the beach. If you ever find yourself on the Oregon coast looking for a place to eat dinner don't try the Morris fireside restaurant. I ordered the char-broiled halibut fillet with orange glaze. Sounds good, doesn't it? I ended up dipping it in my glass of water just to give it some taste. $20 halibut that must have been cooked inside a flavor sucking black hole one night versus $3 hot dogs the next night cooked over a campfire on the beach. Hot dogs win by a mile.
Katie also discovered the joy of being weightless in a swimming pool while pregnant. Upon exiting the pool she was heard to murmur "Oh, I forgot how much this baby weighs".

Any guesses?

Anyone wanna try and guess the date and time and weight and sex of our soon to be born baby? Just enter your guess in the comments section. The closest guess will win a fabulous prize...........show em what they could win Johnny,


It's a kind of new car, complete with it's own smoking English gent.

A no expenses paid trip for two to Branson, Missouri.

And no home is complete without shag carpeting. And shag carpeting isn't complete unless it looks like two sunny side up fried eggs. mmmmmmmmmmm, shaggy eggs.

* (actual prizes are just a print out of a picture of the prize, not the actual prize)
**(void where prohibited. prohibited in all fifty states and all commonwealths)
***(only those who enter may win. any one who enters the contest is not allowed to actually win the contest. see any website for full contest details)

Tulip Festival...three days of drug induced hallucinations, greasy food, pantomiming and discussions on the role of hobos in todays global economy with a guy named Darrel that I met behind a large rock

Here is proof that we do indeed live in Holland, not Oregon. Tulip festival is once again upon us and this year the tulips did not disappoint, the people however did. That is all.

If I don't look just too darn adorable here then I will eat my hat.

Reading all those stupid books might finally pay off

As a soon to be father I have been thinking a lot about how to be a good dad. Having wasted much of my life reading books I can only hope that much of that time can be redeemed by the useful parenting styles I have picked up from books. 

The Dickensian method- Abandon the child in her infancy. If she can’t get herself a job in a soot filled factory by the time she is 5 years old, she wasn’t worth your time to begin with.

The Virginia Wolf “Lighthouse” method- Subjugate the child’s will through passive agressive emotional manipulation in an effort to assert your dominance and assuage your fears and inadequacies.

The Mark Twain “Invisible Hand” method- A laissez-faire approach to parenting which believes that a child left to roam free like a feral cat, crossing state lines like a vagabond is a happy, well rounded child. (This was the parenting technique used by my own parents)

Dostoevsky’s “Karamazovian Solution”- This is a break off from the Oedipal School of parenting that I don’t like to think about too much. Never turns out too well for the father.

The angry and vengeful father of the Old Testament- Mood swings of genocidal proportions. Devising unfathomably difficult tasks of “prove you love me”. Gambling with the devil, putting your child’s welfare on the line.  The anxiety inducing omnipotence. To say nothing of the glorious retribution rained down like hell fire from above. This method would be the most fun for me the father, but unfortunately it results in whiny, ungrateful children. Admit it, when viewed without revelation the God of the Old Testament is kind of a punk, and being a punk is always fun.

I am going to be a great dad.

Happy Easter!

Here's a family photo that needs a lot of photoshop work. I'm going to look like...I was trying to think of a hot actress, but unfortunatley I usually only watch kids movies. So I will look like Cinderella.

Aunt Leesa came up for Easter. Michael was obsessed with her! She went home last night, but this morning Michael was looking all over our house for her. He finally concluded that she must be sleeping somewhere.

Crafts

I finally have energy and a sense that I need to get things done so I made these.  I used hot glue, boxes, box lids and old fabric.  I think they turned out cute.  I'm not sure that the sense of urgency to accomplish something was meant for crafting but that's what I did with it.

6 Months and Standing Crooked

Here I am at 6 months pregnant and I'm wondering why I'm so tilt-y in this picture.  Overall, I know I'm going to get bigger but the question on my mind lately is, how much bigger?  I just bought a bunch of dresses (so I don't have to wear anything else) and I hope they fit me to the end of the pregnancy.  Hopefully they'll last!

My standard morning routine

This is a wonderful picture drawn by the talented Kanami. She is so talented she only goes by one name, Kanami. It is a picture of me, Bennett, riding a bear and fighting a street gang comprised of 1 dragon, 1 unicorn, 2 Cheetahs wearing boxing gloves and a wolf. I think she captured my indomitable will and panache beautifully. She even gave me back some of my hair, which made me happy.