Ah, the state fair: the one true celebration of American culture

Katie and I enjoyed the gluttonous claptrap of rubbish, rides and rhubarb pie that is the Utah State Fair this weekend. While we were there I realized that the life of a carnie is the perfect retirement plan. All we would need to do is buy a big motor home, paint it black and spray paint some scary title on the side like, "The Mummies Tomb" or "Death Cave". Then charge kids $6.50 to go inside where the interior has fake spider webs hanging from the ceiling and a fake head in the oven and a bunch of other scary junk hanging all over the place. We could even change the "ride" from year to year (That way we could rip people off two years in a row) and instead of a "haunted house" make it a "fun house" where they can jump on the bed and spin around in the chairs and the gas from the stove is running the whole time so you stumble around a lot and see funny colors. We would spend our summers driving around from city to city living the dream of the carnie. 

 This years trip to the fair had a heightened sense of anticipation because I heard they were serving deep fat fried peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. But the hype was for nothing, the sandwich was not very good. The failed PB&J experiment meant that the highlight of the fair was this blanket: 

 When I was a kid I remember going to the fair with my family once, I was probably 12 or 13. It was the first time my parents let me and my brother go off by ourselves the whole time we were there. They gave us some money, maybe $10 each or something, to spend on whatever we wanted. Instead of going on rides or buying cotton candy or a cool toy or something we spent all of our money going around to those booths boasting "World's largest Pig", "15 foot Alligator inside", "Come see the smallest horse alive!" etc., etc. I don't know why we didn't realize after the first one that they were a waste of money. Each time we would walk out thinking "that wasn't that cool". But yet once we rounded the corner and saw a big wooden sign with the words "World's Largest" painted in red letters we were hopelessly entranced and filled with hope and certainty that this time it would truly be an amazing sight definitely worth the $2.50. Kids are stupid. Well I wasn't fooled this time. Instead I spent my money on rigged games with worthless prizes and a PB&J slathered in 3 month old grease. Lesson learned.